it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret