She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.