It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...