My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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