remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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