so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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