He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
