Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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