What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
