chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
how drunk are you?
Several
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
