the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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