You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
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Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize