I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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