Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
