Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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