I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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