He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
