I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
