Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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