I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
