Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
