probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
