I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize