i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In America we eat man semen.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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