is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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