I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize