i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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