I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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