I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
