if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
