if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize