I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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