how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
