Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
