Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize