I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger