I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy