I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.