Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
