I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
