and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
