ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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