I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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