my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
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You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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