I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
