Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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