sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
