Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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