Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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