It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
soo... how was my night?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
