I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
