almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize