I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
