We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize