K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
