so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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